Updating From the Outside In
As many of you may have noted (The Cyclops will know if you didn't), a new church has been erected near our glorious valley. Rather than pollute your fragile and innocent minds with images of its salacious indecency, I will show you what we are doing about it. In order to compete with these sinners, thieves, and charletons, I have built a temple to honor our one true lord and savior, The Cyclops.
Yes, it's a complete re-work of our traditionally modest culture, but I think you'll find the inside to be tastefully bland.
I've already begun construction on an underwater room for scripture, as well as squid viewing (unrelated, but equally important), and we have plans to include a secret pit(which does not exist already behind a recessed trap door in the church) into which we will toss the unholy abominations that oppose us.
I have also constructed a much larger idol to remind all those in the uneducated plains region that The Cyclops is always watching, and that he demands tribute. Our funds are running quite low, and we need all the help we can get. How will I ever build the golden Cyclops if not with the help of unsuspecting simpletons?
--Ashton, Maester of the Holy as Well as Matters Related to Pit Construction
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